Author: Emily M.
I want to start off by saying, you are beautiful, you are worthy, and you are brilliant. It took me a long time to realize this about myself and I want whoever reads this to know that it doesn’t have to be such a long journey. Whatever a person’s insecurities are, because everyone has them, can force themselves upon everything you do. You don’t have to let them.
In middle school, walking into school gave me the same nerves someone would normally get when performing on Broadway. My anxiety held me captive under the fake smile I portrayed and every laugh a student had I believed had something to do with me. Walking into every class, earning mediocre grades and never getting the lead role in the school play, forced me to the realization that I would never be good enough.
After ending toxic friendships, my new friends showed acceptance for every part of me, the good and the bad. Although I didn’t open up about my anxiety, I did tell my closest friend that I felt less than everyone. She tried to help the best she could, and it did help a little. A few months later I realized the only person who could truly help me was myself.
I went home and forced myself to look in the mirror. A tear fell down my cheek, but I wouldn’t let myself turn away. I told myself that the image I saw in the mirror was beautiful, was worthy, and was brilliant. Although I believed these words were only truthful to everyone except me, I realized that I didn’t deserve the constant feeling of pain. Nobody did. I decided that the only way to forgive myself for all my “flaws” was to forgive everyone else. I forgave anyone who had done me wrong and tried not to judge anyone. They had reasons to do what they did. I then forgave myself. I was not ugly, I was not dumb, and I was deserving of everything I worked hard for.
– Emily M.